the actual, physical ache you feel in your chest and in your bones when you’re so sad is fucking awful.
I wish I had the opportunity to sit in front of each of my parents together, and just let everything out. Without them being able to say a word. I want to tell them how hard they’ve made it for me. How hard my entire life is going to be because of their decisions to do or not do things. I just want to scream. That I can’t even have a relationship because of them. I can’t do so many things because of them. I’ve kept quiet for several years now, but I’m so sick of it. I hate them. I didn’t do anything to deserve this, and I try not to complain because I know there are so many people in the world that have it way worse than I do. But I’m just so sick of this, never ending. It’s ruined so many things for me, and I can’t take it anymore.
mom: i made cookies!!
I’m so sad and scared and alone and I don’t want to be any of those things
-actually just hates everything and is sick of things and really sick of unopportunities i cant control-
Letting go is such a difficult thing to understand. You can’t try to let go. Trying to let go is like trying not to think about something. You’re just going to think about it even more. I think letting go is less of an ending of one thing and more of an acceptance of everything. It’s okay that this is the way it is right now. There’s no other way it’s supposed to be.